imma tear your place up

kyle and i went down to our old stomping grounds last night to watch dillinger escape plan tear the oasis a part. i counted three light fixtures slammed, swung, or broke in some way, within the first couple of songs the vocalist was bleeding from a gash on his forehead and a good sized hole was punched in the ceiling.

this is dillinger escape plan. they're known for this. and watching bands like that remind me that i've got a lot to do on stage to even come close to the bar that they, and bands like them (the chariot may beat them), have set. my torn acl is nothing because these guys do this almost every night. at one point the vocalist climbed up a wall and screamed from about 15 feet in the air....then just jumped down.

it was impressive on all sides. even with them running around and destroying things, no notes were missed, no mistakes made. the vocalist sounded exactly like he does on the albums. all in all, worth every cent.

this makes me miss being in a band even more.

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missing music and the constant loss of self confidence

this blog's title could've been called "serious blog #1" i guess but the current one is pretty accurate as well.

so i haven't been in a band since january and i hate it. it was the right decision to leave dig ur grave, it wasn't the type of band i wanted to be in and the only reason i agreed to play was because i could still play in a band with hef. he quit and then i quit. conrad meant well but i didn't feel like i had any creative input, all my parts were already written for me. plus with me being all the way in charleston, they couldn't play the amount of shows they wanted so it was all for the best.

here in chucktown, we've got bear hugger. absolutely love the music but we can not find a drummer. i thought we might've had one a couple of weeks ago but the rest of the guys weren't sold on him. drumming ability was great but he didn't care to really pay attention to the song parts and his personality would probably conflict with the rest of us, we're all three loners. don't get me wrong, he was a super nice guy...but if we're going to be a band, i want to also be friends. plus being in a band with kyle is a ton of fun.

so this brings me to the second part of my title. i realized today that the amount of self confidence i have is directly correlated to the amount of music i'm writing. when i was in swamp witch and far from true (later to be named bear hugger), i felt good about myself. i got no sleep, was always traveling, and even had to have a knee surgery because of a witch show but again, i felt good. i was able to write new songs at my place, just little acoustic diddys but i was proud of them. now, i can't even finish a song. i'll start one and be somewhat stoked about it but then writers block kicks in and it dies a slow, painful death. when i left DUG, i figured i could focus on my acoustic stuff but it just hasn't happened. ::sigh::

my lack of self-confidence then translates into a lack of trust in everyone, even when it's not deserved. i've got to figure out a way to work on this. i'll add that to the growing list of personality flaws that i need to somehow correct.

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i hate you, microsoft

so i'm sitting here at work and obviously shouldn't be blogging buuuuutttt windows decided to crap out on me so here i am, waiting on my files to transfer over so i can rebuild the box (thank you Ubuntu live cd!). Transfering my main bulk of files is going to take about an hour and I can't do anything work related so this is what I'm going to do, rant.

WTF Microsoft?!? I apply one of your "security updates" and now I can't get into my box? What sense does that make? I figured out the problem, for whatever reason it decided to change the registry setting for the WinLogon key to point to my VMWare .dll logon file as opposed to the actual MS logon file....you're a shit company so I hope eventually you die by the wayside. I think this is the last straw for me and Microsoft, when I get home I'm going to back up my files from my PC laptop and then install some flavor of Linux...maybe, I still need to re-build my iTunes library from when my NAS decided it no longer felt the need to function across a network. And I'll need to find some sort of replacement for iTunes or move everything over to my iMac.

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